In grief there is the sensation of being suspended in the moving ocean. There is no storm, just the continual rising and then falling of the wave. My head goes under and I am there in the abyss of the unknown.

How long may it last and when it is over, will it come again?

It overtakes me. I am small and unmoving in the vastness of my own feeling. Sometimes there is not even the memory but just the weight of something that is unnameable, something that once felt like all there ever would be. Somehow in that space, in that unrelenting feeling of emptiness, I find the courage to surrender as I rise again above the wave.